sapling

 

you grow as you sleep. i know because i see it happen, helpless to keep you as my baby forever. i imagine you’re a little uprooted tree with legs like roots, arms like branches, fingers like twigs and a crown of strawberry blonde hair like a nest.

every day you sleep and every day you grow. i miss the tenderness of my once newborn, but mostly i revel in the tiny person you are becoming. so fascinated by the world and wild with joy.

sometimes you cry a tired, heart-breaking cry with your arms stretched out toward me, sobbing ‘mama, mum, mum’ and i cradle you with your ear to my heart, my palm holding your head close. you quieten as i hold you and you burrow into my neck so i can feel your breath and the wetness from tears on my shoulder.

i secretly love how affectionate you are when you are overtired like this, other times when i wrap you in my arms you struggle and kick like a little animal. ‘alba, let me cuddle you’ i say and you squeal like you need to be set free.

teeth sprout from your bottom gum and you trace your tongue back and forth over them. they are sharp and when you feed sometimes you accidentally bite me. i yelp and you stop feeding and look up at me concerned, when i stare angrily back at you your mouth spreads into a wide grin. my heart grows a little larger like it always does and i can’t stay mad a single moment longer.

i wipe the sleep from the corners of your eyes, wet my fingers to wipe away the places my milk has dried around your mouth and finish the mango you were sucking on, it doesn’t seem strange to me. i know one day i will miss when the lines between us were so blurred we were almost one person.

at times i am so eager for the little girl you are becoming that i can almost stand the growing part.

 

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August 2012

70 love notes for “sapling”

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    Howdy! This blog post could not be written much better!
    Looking at this post reminds me of my previous roommate!
    He constantly kept preaching about this. I will send this article to him.
    Pretty sure he’s going to have a good read. Thanks for sharing!

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  4. Marcela

    I am a mother too. You express motherhood beautifully. You live beautifully. You have made my day.

  5. Anning

    I am a Chinese writer, thank you give me so much beautiful and rich imagination. I will take pictures for my baby in the near future.

  6. Marie

    Has Alba been in a music video? I swear she looks just like the baby in Maroon 5 “One More Night”

  7. Jane

    A dear friend of mine forwarded me your blog saying “you just might love this”. So lovely to see other woman adventuring similar paths. I have been to many of the same places you have and walked many of the same roads. Your eloquence, drive and passion are incredibly inspiring to this once fiercely driven mama. Now my days are found observing the simplest of things. My twin flame sleeping to my left and our ray of love and light bundled to my right, kicking off the covers as she sleeps. She is almost one year old, and I am grateful every day for this life. Many many thanks for sharing yours so candidly.

  8. KarenT

    Oops hit send too soon on last comment!
    I mourn and celebrate the changes from little baby to blossoming child.
    You (and our mutual friend, the gorgeous Georgia) are such amazing inspirational women and mothers. Thank you x

  9. Karen T

    Have just read this as I lie awake in the wee hours feeding my bonny babe. He too, has two sharp little teeth and they have just nipped me! They grow so fast and I vacillate between mourning the loss of tiny babymess

  10. Karoline

    You write so beautiful, I almost cry when I read it

  11. francesca

    My goodness, you are an entire world of inspiration. I found myself reading on, digesting page by page. I am so pleased to have fallen upon your blog. Alba is a gem. xx

  12. Luisa Cativo

    Everything about this is inspiring and idyllic. I love how beautifully you describe your baby’s growing process, your relationships and your life. Also, I can absolutely relate to the wanderlusting, and I secretly wish I could quench my thirst for visiting new places more often. I am so glad I found this blog!
    http://captivelouise.wordpress.com/

  13. Juri

    Oh gosh Alba is way too cute *_* what a wondeful creature <3

  14. Laura

    Your blog is really inspiring. Love the entire concept. I love the distinctive raw minimalism in your shots.
    Really happy to stumble upon your blog.

    x Laura
    Stylecoaching.blogspot.be

  15. Laura

    I find your work and life story so inspiring. You’ve come so far and you’re only 20 years of age. Your daughter is so beautiful as well. Well Done x

  16. Anisha

    awww..I wanna have a baby too but I’m still in college :( How adorable she is!! That’s pure happiness!!!

  17. Andrew

    A tender post! I’m sure that you will continue to discover your little one as a muse, an inspiration each day.

  18. Anne

    Hey,
    Nice post!
    Your blog is so awesome!
    Would you like to follow eachother?
    Love,
    Anne
    movieanne.blogspot.com

  19. georgia

    beautiful. but oh, i wish she’s stay baby for a bit longer. at this rate she’ll be walking by the time we next see her. give your sapling a kiss from us.

  20. Jocee

    when she’s older and she reads these, she’s going to know how wonderful of a mother you are. you a precious.

  21. hemMAMAmi

    You have such an amazing talent in putting your thoughts into such beautiful words. I was moved to tears. And your photos are just breathtaking!

  22. Ruby

    Oh I love this, thank you, isn’t there so much joy and wonder in motherhood. Look up this poem, you will love it “My Daughter Asleep” by David Whyte. Love to you, beautiful Mama.

  23. Tori I.

    The words are beautiful and your little one is adorable! The love you give to your daughter is absolutely awesome and she’ll grow into a little (beautiful) girl with a big heart. :) And it will be a joy to watch her grow, as I’m sure you know. :)

  24. chantal

    Wow Nirrimi your words are pure magic.. so honest too. I too remember those feels. <3

  25. Sarah

    nirrimi! Your blog is beautiful. I’m always excited to see what you have posted. Your photos are quiet and inspiring and so are the words you write.

  26. Olga

    i try to imagine the moment when your daughter will be able to read this passages… pure love!

  27. Lexxie'

    Gosh, how big and beautiful she is! She’ll become a wonderful lady.
    Beautiful writing!

  28. Ruxandra

    Beautiful words, beautiful photograph, and I’m sure it’s a beautiful life you’re living. So thanks for sharing bits and pieces of it with us.

  29. Brown

    your writing is so calming to me. The love you share for your daughter is incredibly peaceful, and I love that I’m able to share in your joy. Signed.Brown

  30. Hayley Rixon

    alba is forever growing more beautiful and i am in awe of the way you can portray the beauty of mamahood. you have inspired me to create a blog documenting my pregnancy and the adventures that are to come for my own family.
    ps. i hope you’re having an amazing time travelling and i am very jealous : ) xo

  31. Rainy

    Alba is a very lucky girl. I can feel your undying love for her just by reading your words.

  32. Ada

    When I have a child in the future, I want to be half as good of a Mother as you are to Alba.
    She’s a very lucky young lady to have you and Matt as parents and you’re both lucky to have her as your daughter.

  33. flugvel

    There is no age where you are suddenly ready to become a mother. You do not need to finish University, Own your home, have a husband. All you need is love. You give Alba the most warmest truest love a child deserves. People are inspired by you, this is beautiful.

  34. Elenore

    A person sprouting in days of love and joy and fire and greens. Alba is a world and you are each others universe. Forever.

    Wish I could hug you all!

  35. kimi

    your little sapling is so very beautiful. she is a creature of love, and there is nothing more beautiful than that xo

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