The Hair Cut

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Although I’ve often said I’ll never cut my hair, one day I felt the sudden urge to. A few days later it was gone and I was free.

For so long my growing hair had been a place of refuge and a way to feel beautiful. Every morning and every night I brushed it. Mostly I wore it in plaits to keep from knotting and when I wore it out it was like a special dress. People would often compliment it, envy it and I loved the way it felt against my bare back.

But it only took a day of forgetting to brush it and it would begin to matte in clumps of ugly knots. I was spending so much of my time preserving what I saw as my beauty that I didn’t stop to realise I could be beautiful without it. Or, here’s a new idea, I didn’t have to be beautiful. At least not in the way society convinces me I should be.

The hairdresser took my long tail of hair and cut it from me in one sharp swoop. It was like my head was a fish bowl tight with fat goldfish swimming scale to scale, then the next moment my head was as empty as a cloud. I moved and felt a shock of short hair kiss my cheek. I didn’t expect to feel any different, but what I felt was a high so strange it was like being in another person’s body. I thought to myself, I may never feel this feeling again in my life. My hair had been so heavy I couldn’t wear it up without having a headache, and now suddenly the weight had lifted, I felt like I was floating up. I kept a small plaited section of my hair long, as a reminder, and I wrap it around my head to keep my hair out of my eyes.

I focus on being kind, open and generous now and suddenly people are glowing, because kindness is a beauty that can be shared by all. The wall is gone and though I can no longer hide, I feel less like I have to.

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Tags:

March 2013

97 love notes for “The Hair Cut”

  1. Rachel Dragonfly

    I remember how it felt. It was years ago when I first cut feet of hair off of my head and I realize now, after reading your words, that I have forgotten how that feels. The hair sweeping my lower back, the weight of it all pulling on my scalp, the braids wrapping around and around my head. It was freeing for me as well. Suddenly I didn’t have to hold all of that weight on my head and it felt really good.

    I’m glad I found your blog. Your photos are lovely.. both yours and your partner’s. Thank you for sharing.

  2. Woody Kim

    Hi my name is woody live in Korea. It my first reply.
    your my most flavorites photographer. I like to visit this blog everyday and Actually I do that.
    Quite many time I could Inspiring from your blog. and I think I wannabe with you.
    and Hope you keep doing on your work then I can see your job for long time
    I Really really like to be your friend thank you!

  3. alisa

    amazing pics again!!!:-) you can always surprise me with your gorgerous pics!!

  4. shayna

    just reading your blog for the first time, and really loving it! i remember seeing your beach photos somewhere and then my sister showed me your blog and i got really excited that you live in brisbane…it’s a good place to be…
    it’s great that your little family all seems to share the same passion for art and life (even alba for being ridiculously happy and photogenic!)

  5. AZ

    SO beautiful and liberating!
    I love how you left a braid at the back, such a lovely reminder of your long hair.

  6. Chymecindy

    Beautiful words and amazing photos. We have same length hair which i also just cut last week. Yes it is nice to have a very long hair but it is also a nice feeling after it’s gone.

  7. melissa

    Hi there, of course this paragraph is in fact pleasant and I have learned lot
    of things from it on the topic of blogging. thanks.

  8. Halima May

    Hello! I just fell in love with your amazing blog!! The baby is just the cutest thing ever!
    love from Italy XOXO

  9. liz

    beautifully written and photographed. it is amazing how we as a society perceive beauty, and it is such a release to find that beauty does not exist on the outside. it exists on the inside. in our soul. most certainly not in our skin or hair, but what lays underneath.

  10. Cristina

    I totally understand what you describe, I’ve felt the same urge one day after years of caring for my hair like it was my (only?) source of beauty (In my case, I just took a pair a scissors and cut everything off. Needless to say, I had to run to a hairdresser to arrange things a bit! But it was fun, I don’t regret it). You look beautiful with this new hair cut, it suits you very well. Your lovely daughter is such a joy to look at..

  11. tammy jenna

    I love that nobody can stop you from being exactly who you are. you have really made me look at the world through brighter eyes. love always.

  12. Marlin

    Your words describe perfectly the feelings most woman have about their hair cutted. Me included.
    One day hopefully I have the same wonderful photos of me and my child like you. You look perfect, truly in harmony with the world.

  13. Desi

    I don’t think you could do anything to yourself to not look beautiful. I love the feeling of healthy freshly cut hair.

  14. creando

    Bilderna är så vackra, så äkta och så nära. Och du är ju en dröm, vare sig håret är långt eller kortare. Kort är det ju inte nu heller. Men jag gissar att det är lättare att sköta och kräver mindre av dig :)

    Kramar

  15. Laura Zalenga

    ‘I didn’t have to be beautiful. At least not in the way society convinces me I should be.’ Thank you so much for these word. I felt exactly the same when I cut my hair short some days ago but couldn’t get in into these perfect words.

  16. Emilia

    Hi! Your life seems wonderful and like a dream. How can you afford to live like that? What do you do for your living? Alba is so cute!

  17. Emilia

    Hi! Your life seems wonderful. I wonder how you can afford to live like that? What you do for your living? Alba looks so cute!

  18. Claudia

    i just recently cut all of my hair off. it was not something i had not done before because i have had short hair many times before in my life. but, my three year old daughter had never seen me with short hair. the decision to cut it was not just because my hair doesn’t grow long in a healthy matter but also to show my daughter that women also can have short hair and still look beautiful. she is surrounded by girls her age and women mostly all with long hair. she associated short hair with men. she witnessed me getting my hair cut and once it was done she said :mommy, you look beautiful. i want my hair short like yours”. even though she doesn’t have a short do, she did get her first cut that same day and got a good amount chopped off. i think you look beautiful with or without long hair. i think it’s important to not depend on hair as a security blanket. so many people do.

  19. Tori

    Wow, your hair looks so healthy, even with the ombre at the very bottom! I’m jealous. :)

    The knotting is something I can relate to, it got so bad when I was in middle school that I had to ask my grandmother to just cut the knots out of my hair for me. Which is why I quite like short hair, you don’t have to worry as much and it’s harder for it to ‘get everywhere’.

    And society convinces you that long hair is beautiful or is there something deeper that I’m missing and seem to always do? Maybe I’m weird.. since I’ve never looked at it that way.

    And I love the small plaited piece of hair! :) I love your focus and looks on life and absolutely gorgeous photographs!

    I plan to cut my hair short as well, though, planning to donate my hair since I would hate for it to go to waste when it can be used to help someone, even though it’s in a tiny way.

  20. Alina

    i love your spirit, your freedom, your talents, your openness, your blog!
    Thank you for the inspiration, thank you for making my soul smile :)

  21. leah giselle

    this makes me really think about how i hide beneath my hair. thank you for being honest, it is lovely and refreshing. x

  22. Wanderer

    En los ojos de Alba está el universo, y en su nombre el primer rayo de luz del día. Es luz, universo y libertad. Es lindo que la maternidad sea algo tan inherente a ti, Nirrimi, sobre todo si es el verdadero sentido de tu vida. Algunos ya no escuchan la llamada del corazón, pero tú la has oído, y la plenitud te acompañará por siempre.
    Lo más importante de la fotografía, es su significado detrás de ella, ¿no es así?

    Im not really good in english, but i hope you can translate this.

  23. Olivia

    you’re just so beautiful. the photos of you and you child are gorgeous x

  24. Claire Nina

    Simply beautiful. I feel truly inspired.

  25. sheila

    hello, just found you and your lovely blog through instagram. i love this post. i understand perfectly what you describe and i loved reading your words about it. when i was in my late 20s, i shaved my head completely and it was the most freeing, liberating, wonderful feeling i ever had. i wanted to get rid of the trappings of hair at that time in my life. my hair was so much trouble for me to worry about at the time. your story reminded me of that decision, that moment, and the days after and how much i loved that time of short hair. enjoy those feelings of lightness and openness. so nice to find someone who writes so beautifully, like a story. love your blog and your images.

  26. Kata

    You inspire me immensely much. I really don’t know how to put the feeling your blor stirs in me into words. I only know it’s something huge. But yet you seem so unreal; how could anyone live a life like this and picture and write about it like this? Is it possible? I guess it must be, but I can’t get rid of the feeling that this isn’t real but a dream put into pictures and words. It must be this font, too.
    I just want to thank you for existing and writing this blog and being yourself and sharing some things in your life with us. I don’t know if you get too many friendly comments so that you have stopped understanding that all of them really have feelings behind them – I don’t know if people do forget such things, I just want to make sure – but I truly mean this.
    Thank you.

  27. Julie

    The two last pictures are simply amazing. I’m so moved by your text (and your pictures !). You’re a truly inspiration to me. I’m always so excited to see a new post. And about the hair, I think you look beautiful with both short or long hair.

  28. Rosie

    Amazing! Hey I love the colours. Did u use the actions that you have on your website. If so which actions are they so that I can purchase them. Thanks

  29. Emmy

    You look amazing & your baby is too cute for words. Just found your blog & LOVE

  30. Jade

    Nirrimi you are so damn beautiful! It’s such a gift to come here and delectably take in the nourishing, awe-inspiring flux of life you deliver. Thank you and we love you very much!

  31. Sarah

    All I can think of is ‘inspired,’ but there has to be a better word to describe how I feel after reading your thoughts and stories. I would give just about anything to have an ounce of the spirit and freedom you have. You do inspire me to be more open, to reach deeper and to live life in a more intimate way. I am truly happy to have found your little spot here…you are beautiful and your photos are always amazing.

    Isn’t it exhilerating when we rid ourselves of our walls….xo

  32. eleonora

    You’re beautiful with long and short hair! :) I prefer my hair long, it gives me self-confidence, but every now and then I cut off a few inches, because it feels so refreshing!
    I love the last two pictures! <3

    xx, Eleonora

    My Blog ♥

  33. China Dora

    I am completely in love with this picture. I don’t find nudity taboo at all. I am so glad that you feel the same way! Beautiful!!

  34. Nina

    You look so beautiful in these photos and the short hair really suits you! Gorgeous. I’ve got quite long hair but can’t bare to part with it just yet. One day maybe…
    xxx
    Nina from little nomad

  35. Noelani

    I always enjoy visiting your blog and catching up. Yet another lovely post by you, accompanied by gorgeous photos (especially the second to last).

    ps. love the new haircut :)

  36. Mariska

    There is only silence when I read your stories. Amazing effect.

  37. Tina

    Wow…… how awesome! I love reading about your and your family’s life. It’s like a dream.
    I am working on growing my hair long now, but one day I might feel like cutting it short again. Long hair is nice and womanly, but short hair can be just the same. It ALL depends on how you feel.
    Be well!!!

  38. Lucy

    You put exactly into words how I felt when I cut my then chin length hair to a boy length crop. PS those beach images with Alba are frigging beautiful, so peaceful. Much love. Lucy.

  39. Portia

    As beautiful as your long, flowing locks were, you are just as beautiful with short hair. Change is a good thing once in a while and I admire your courage for doing away with something that you’d grown used to for so long.

  40. M

    You have the most beautiful mind. I really adore you. Thank you Nirrimi.

    Love from Sweden

  41. Emmy

    Simply amazing! I know the feeling, I cut my hair off not long ago, now I want it back though but in the end it was worth it.

  42. Katie

    Your words are always so comforting, my eyes are glued to the page. I cut my hair very short when I was 15 after growing it for all my life, however it didn’t feel like ‘me’ so now I have it long again, but as I’ve got older I’ve discovered the same – that beauty is you as a person, rather than how you look.

  43. kimberley

    you are beautiful – not because of your looks, but because of your heart. I love this post. it takes great courage and maturity to come to the realisation that you have. most people will never realise this. I am yet to accept that beauty is found from within; I am still trapped in a mind which tells me that looking beautiful makes a beautiful person. with constant reminders from my love, and messages such as the one found in this post, is helping me to realise that I too, am already beautiful.

    also, these photographs of you and your alba.. wonderful! it makes my heart sing! x

  44. Oxygen

    I really enjoyed reading this post. I could relate to what you wrote even though I’ve never been able to grow my hair to such a length. When I was younger I tended to believe longer hair is the only way to make myself look beautiful and feminine. Gladly, getting older convinced me otherwise. I think everyone has their own perfect length they’are happy with – both in terms of looks and care. However I didn’t expect such big problems coming along with long hair which you described. Anyway I’m looking forward to see more pictures of you, your new haircut and maybe your new self-assurance.

  45. Julia Nilsson

    I love the way you write! The way you express your feelings is exceptional. Keep up your good work, it matters!

  46. Simone

    To read your story about your hair could be my story three years ago…
    I always felt that my hair made me so feminine and beautiful and was always afraid of loosing even one centimeter.
    One day I knew I have to cut it and I did it myself. That was important to me.
    I felt so free, it was amazing!
    Now my hair is again growing longer and longer, but it feels very different now. Maybe because I think different about my hair…
    YOU are beautiful, always! I love your little top knot!

  47. anne

    can i say something?
    you have always been, and you will always be
    BEAUTIFUL in your own way.
    And that is so fuckin amazin.

  48. Rhiannon

    I remember seeing the photo on IG when you cut your hair off while on your trip, and remember thinking how amazing it must have felt for you, and to read it here just confirms it. I have never had such long hair as you did, but I tend to grow it out long, and then chop it off above my shoulders, a bit of a yoyo. I am actually booked in this week for the chop, and while it always gives me butterflies… I like the change, simply done, but not to dramatic in our lives.
    Rhi x

  49. Rebecca

    Your little stories about life sounds like the perfect life. I love the way you write, and the way it goes directly in to my heart. Even this story about your hair makes my eyes tear and I don’t know why. But I love it and I love how it makes me feel. Your pictures are the most beautiful and you are too.
    Love from Sweden.
    Rebecca

  50. Noran

    awww… but i looooooove my long hair. i like it messy, cavewoman be. i dont think anyone has ever brush my hair in years. it’s now my hip-length, and strangely still light and wavy. i don’t think it’s good to brush a very long hair though, you’ll make them fall. so i never did it.
    and i don’t measure beauty by hair length though nirrimi, i don’t care if someone is bald or has hair touches her knees – if they are beautiful, they are.

  51. Holly

    I cannot believe how much your alba resembles my abigail. The photos of you with her, kissing her, nursing her, just holding her make my heart leap because I feel like I am seeing me and abigail in them. You are a beautiful mama, short hair or long.

  52. Jessica

    I can relate with my hair. It’s beyond my belt now and I always wear it up in a bun. When I let it down it has the most perfect curls and I get complimented on it lots. I don’t know if I’m ready to cut it though, I don’t know if I’ll ever be. I enjoy having that security and my hair to hide behind. My little one gets ahold of it and he likes to play with it too.

    PS- Every photo you post of you and Alba is just perfect. I’m semi envious that I’m rarely in photos with my little ones.

  53. Jessica

    Beautiful, beautiful pictures! Even a simple change in hairstyle can cause such a great feeling. I was on the same page with you, I decided to finally cut my long hair years ago and ever since, I liked my hair short or shoulder length. So much freer and lighter than before.

  54. Ruby Hoppen

    I go in cycles of wearing really long hair to really short to the growing in-between. The last time I cut my hair was 2009 and I am close to doing it again. I feel that there is a beauty in short hair in the lightness and buoyancy it gives to your face. You are beautiful.

  55. stefanie

    I also used to have hair down to my back. I was always complimented, but for some reason I never appreciated the comments. I wasn’t trying to be arrogant. I just felt like that’s a lot of what people saw in me. They didn’t see me, they saw my long brown curls. And for the longest time I let it be and let myself think that my hair was what made me beautiful. But a year ago, I was in Bali for christmas with my family and without hesitatingI cut it all off. It’s slowly growing back (it’s about your length). Sometimes I’d wish it would grow faster, but most of the times I enjoy the way it is and the journey it’s taking me on. You’re so very inspirational, Nirrimi; and that is where you can find your true beauty.

    love,
    stefanie

  56. Lesley

    This made me cry. Your writing is so beautiful and honest. I know I am repeating what countless others have said to you time and again, but I hope it can warm your heart a little more to know how much reading your blog is helping me to find my own way to happiness in my life and to realize what’s truly important to me. You inspire me in every way. <3

  57. Leah

    “It’s only hair”, isn’t that how the saying goes!? Looks healthy & beautiful. Love the sneaky drinks in the last image!!

  58. Becca

    The photographs of you and Alba on the beach are just breathtaking. So lovely and to have those memories is wonderful.

  59. Fergie M

    this is beautiful, you are beautiful thank you for showing us the strength that comes with embracing our own beauty.

  60. Sarah

    Nirrimi – I feel so priviledged to be an observer of your life. What you share – even something as simple as how you feel about your hair – always seems to resonate with me. You and your lovely family are so generous to be so open, and I truly appreciate it. Thank you. – Sarah

  61. Lindsay Anne Dransfield

    This post is perfection. I’m the same way you’ve been about your hair – it’s my “thing.” Everyone likes my long, ginger hair. I always swear I’ll never cut it when I have kids, because everyone always does, but maybe I’ll someday let go of the worldly way I continue to think. Thanks for this.

  62. Billie

    You are still the most beautiful. You will never have to worry about that.

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